Blueming

I never knew I could fall in love with someone I didn’t personally know. Someone I had never even talked to. Someone I had only seen in passing. But, well.. I did.

The moment I saw you, I thought “Wow, his eyes are pretty.” And without me realizing, my cheek started to feel very warm and my heart started to race. That was very odd, because I always said there’s no such thing as love at first sight.

A few days after I first saw you, there was a girls-talk in my class. They were talking about their crush. Telling each other who they liked. One of the girls said that she liked you, and without thinking, my mouth suddenly said “Yeah, I like him too.”  Then, of course, things got awkward, so I said “But I like Frank too, because I generally like handsome boys” just to neutralize the mood.

Things like this were, and even as I grow older I realize they still are, signs of trouble. The general rule was : You should forfeit for your friend. So, Hm.. Why didn’t I? Well, why should I?
.

I don’t really remember how it started. But I remember that I received a note from you, saying you wanted to meet me after school. “Let’s take a walk after school”, it said.

So there we were, in a quiet corridor behind school. Talking so naturally, as if it was not the first time we were left  alone.
“You know I like you, right?” you said.
I smiled, and said no. Which was probably not accurate.
“I like you a lot. I want you to be my girlfriend, but I don’t want us to get in trouble.”
I stayed quiet, but I was so happy. My heart fluttered like crazy.
It was a short walk, though. So I remember you rushed to finish your sentence before somebody saw us. “Let’s keep it between us for now.” you said hurriedly, and then you left.

I wonder if you realized back then, but Charles, you were my first real crush.