A Letter to Vina

Dear, Vina

I suddenly thought about you tonight. Out of no where. Poof. Just like that.
Turns out, today is my wedding anniversary.

Do you remember how long has it been since the last time we met? Wasn't it the day you slept over at my house?? So, it has been what? 7 years? 8 years?

I miss you, girl... Right now especially, in my current situation, I can use a friend like you. We were best friends, weren't we?
From what I can remember, I spent my whole highschool years with you. I spent those silly-tragic-strange years with you.
And, from what I can remember, even though at that time my situation was just as crappy, it didn't really affect me.
You were one of the reasons, I guess...

I will admit that I pulled myself away from you, Vina. Because of... Reasons..
We grow apart, don't we? We lost that highschool chemistry long ago, didn't we? Realizing it.. breaks my heart a little.

Do you know that I thought about you on my wedding day, just before the ijab? Among those guests, I wished you were there. I wondered what would you give to me as wedding gifts. Would you throw me a bachelor party? I wondered what would you say to me if you know I decided to get married so young.. I cried a little because you weren't there, Vina.

Do you know that, when you slept over at my house 8 years ago, my parents were already divorced and my father were going to remarry? Ah.. I hated him so much back then.
But, 4 years ago he started to change, Vina. He stopped being a junky because he was very ill. He started to become very religious. He had changed so much. He tried so hard to put his life back together. But, last year, he passed away. Just a month after my husband's traffic accident.
It was hard on me.

I had a rough year, Vina.. Things are getting better now, but it's still hard for me. Hehe..
Perhaps that's the reason why I thought about you tonight. I guess, I'm feeling a bit lonely. And, the image of talking to someone I trust, makes me remember you.

Life pulls us so much apart, doesn't it? I bet if we met, you would feel like I'm a different person... Like we've never been bestfriend.. And I bet, a lot has changed in your life as well.

It would be nice to stay friends, Vina.. I am truly sorry for everything I 've missed out in your life.


Love,
Q