Never Growing Up

I finally understand how hard it is to survive. I used to cuddle under my mom's embrace, not knowing how much work that needed to be done.
Now that I understand, surviving means more and more like sacrificing. Or excruciating. Or draining.

But no one can escape life forever.

Past

Photo taken with Analaog Camera. Minolta. Kodak celluloid.

Do you think it is strange... that I thought of you a lot, right before my wedding? Do you think I am still addicted to you and to our unfinished love stories? Do you think, deep inside my heart, I am still looking for you in the dense of other loves?
I think this is God's way, dear past... To remind me that love can be very painful, and that I need to make myself ready. Because, now, I am heading toward an eternal and holly commitment of love. where anything can happen, and the risk of pain is worse.
I think this is God's way of warning me, dear past... That I might become an antagonist in someone else's stories. And that I might also be the protagonist. But the choice is not mine to take, it is in other's to give away.
I think. God loves me so much. And wants me to learn from our horrible love stories. About our love that used to be so magical, but then vanished into thin air. Also, about our ending that has never happened... And our last conversation that never linger.

Dear, past... I wish you will thought of me too. May be one day. When your own wedding is near.
I hope God loves you too. As much as I used to.
And now, let this be the last time I write about you. Because I already have someone that fits me better than you. Way better.

Back

The feeling of not having anyone to watch your back, for me, it is frustrating.
I think the core of being human is to have another human as our support group. People that will stand up for us except ourselves. People that we can count on. People that watches our back. People that appreciate, rather than looked down on, us. People that believe, rather than underrate, us.

The feeling of not having anyone to watch your back, for me, it is irritating and saddening. But most of all, isolating. Lonely-ing.

Lani

Photos by : Rizeki Raharja Artwork and Design

I remember the sand that get stuck under your nail
On our date to the beach.
And the pink stain on your left cheek
After our kiss.

And then I remember the sky got less blue
And the grass less green
After you left.

(Inspired by : Lani, the sky can never get less blue, but the vision might gets blurry)

Be Minor

Wandered into an unfamiliar place. Crawled into a space we don't really fit.

Most of us never really know how it feels to be a minority.

City Of Broken Souls

Photo by : Rizeki Raharja Artwork and Photography

A : I want to go to a city where all the broken souls gather.
B : You sound depressed.
A : Why?
B : Why would anyone go to a place where all the broken souls gather? Why would anyone with hope, positive mind, and a future, wanted to leave a happy place?
A : Why not?
B : Why do you want to go to a city where all the broken souls gather?
A : I want to cure them.

(Inspired by a post from Sincere Soul  )

Delish

Day 1 :
A : What do you want to eat tonight?
B : Soerabi with banana fillings and chocholate-cheese topping
A : Oke!

Day 3 :
A : What do you want to eat tonight?
B : Soerabi with ba..
A : We already ate that yesterday, and two nights ago. Want to try something else?
B : Ok. Soerabi with nuts fillings and vla pelangi topping
A : ...

Day 4 :
A : Let's go eat soerabi!
B : *biggrin