Reservation Only

People never know how amazing I am because I keep the best parts of myself hidden away, reserved for moments only I can cherish. 

The brilliance, the resilience, the dreams too bold to share—they’re mine to hold in quiet solitude. 

I’ve learned that not everyone deserves to see the full extent of my light, so I let them glimpse only what’s necessary. 

The rest remains locked within a secret universe, where I can truly be free, unjudged, and unapologetically whole.

Multiple Suicides

I am alive and breathing, but you can never know how many times I’ve killed myself. 

I’ve killed the version of me that perked up with excitement and anticipation. 

I now always prepare for the worst to avoid disappointment. 

I’ve killed that version too—the one who felt disappointed. 

I now simply swallow whatever heart-wrenching truths I’m forced to endure.

I’ve buried them beneath layers of half-hearted smiles and silence, convincing myself it’s better this way.

I've carried them like stones in my chest, heavy yet hollow.

Sky High

My apartment was on the 21st floor. It overlooked the city view.

Sometimes, I would look out the window at the people accross the street. I would wonder about their lives.
"Are they happy? Are they in pain, just like me? Am I the only one feeling so hurt? Am I the only one feeling isolated and frustrated?

On the worst nights, I would consider jumping. I would cry as the wind blew on my face. My vision would be blurry.
"Why are people so cruel? Why can't they be kinder to one another? Why is life so depressing?"

The people who made me like this, they never apologize. I never saw they got what I thought they deserve.
"Do they regret what they did to me? Are they reflecting? Do they even realize the gravity of their doings?"

My apartment was on the 21st floor. The sky was always pitchblack.

Partly Sunny

"Rather than the word 'sad' or 'depressed', I relate more to the word 'pain' and 'lonely'. Maybe that's why I dug a hole in my heart and burried all my scars there. Maybe I wanted them to decompose and one day flourish into something pretty. Ha! Who am I kidding, right?" 

Lavender

As I walked down that aisle, I thought to myself.. "This is it. Finally, somebody will hold my hand forever. He will take care of me. He will be the support I've never had. He will be someone who listen to my worries. He will be someone who help me find true happiness."
But, boy I was wrong.

I have never felt so meaningless. You made me feel as though I am replaceable.
After I'm fucked, I am discarded, ain't I?
You show nice gestures and cares, only if you want something in return, don't you?

Never have you ever treated me like a real spouse. Like a human. Like someone who mean something. Never. Not once.

Tomorrow

The sun will always find its entrance through a narrow slit.

Even if you shut your eyes tightly.

And the future will always continue to come.
No matter how hard you hold on to the past.

Be Minor

Wandered into an unfamiliar place. Crawled into a space we don't really fit.

Most of us never really know how it feels to be a minority.