Dear Hana,
When I was a teenager, I was a girl who struggled to find something good to say about myself. When people confessed their feelings to me, I would question their intentions. I would wonder why someone as beautiful as them would want someone like me. When I looked at the mirror, all I see was a girl with daddy-issues. When I came to school, I would look around and envied other people. I would wish I was normal. I would wish I came from a normal family.
I don’t hate my parents, Hana. I appreciate everything they’ve done for me. But, honestly, they weren’t in a great place. My dad was an addict. My mom would lean on me for strength because, frankly, she had no one else. I would often see or hear them argue, or even be a part of the arguments. I would worry, wondering if today would be a great day or just another day with screaming and physical abuse. And, yeah, it affected the way I look at people.
I met some great men, Hana. But I kept pushing them away just to see which one would stick by me and never left no matter what. I would find their flaws, or even made one up, just because I was scared they would hurt me. I would leave immediately if I saw even a tiny bit of my father’s characteristic in them. I would hurt them. I would feel insecure around them. And I would be annoyingly clingy if I really liked them.
Hana, I was so scared of ending up with the wrong man. Not because I was scared of choosing the wrong spouse, but because I want My children to have a great dad. I don’t want my kids to look at their friends and have the urge to ask, “what does it feel like to be a daughter of a great man?” I don’t want them to live their life feeling abnormal. Or even slightly crooked.
Hana, a lot of men are evil. But you surely can find a great one. The one that fits you like a glove. The one who makes you feel like you don’t need to be somebody else but yourself. The one who makes you comfortable being yourself, with all your scars and secrets. A great man will never persuade you to do something you’re not sure about. He won’t make you feel like you should pretend to like something you don’t. He will allow you to work in your pace. He will be there when you hit rock bottom, supporting you and be the person to give you strength. He won’t make you question yourself—On the contrary, he will make you notice how amazing you are. He will still tell you that you’re pretty even when you’re having breakouts or gain some weight.
Hana, I hope you grow up amazing. I hope when you look in the mirror you know for sure that you are loved, talented, and perfectly perfect. People might make you feel like your forehead is too big or your hair is too thin, but I hope you will feel fine because you know you are amazingly flawless— forehead and hair included.
Know that I love you a lot. Life can be hard to navigate. But, as long as you keep a clear view and a strong root, you will always know where to go.
(Inspired by ‘Our Song’ by Taylor Swift)
